5 Facts that proves my son is mine

Let’s not account any scientific evidence that he’s mine. Let’s just base it on habits, temperament and mannerisms.

HANGRY

Bean fed like clock work when he was a baby. It’s always on the 3hour mark. If you miss it by a second, because you decided to clean your nipple shield first, you’ll be deaf. There’s no in between range of cries. It’s just FEED ME! Or Imma cut you!!

Yup, that’s me. Once I reach a point of hunger, you will know. Errrbody will know. No one is safe.  

Remember that Snickers ad? You’re not you when you’re hungry? That’s my autobiography. 

I CAN DO EVERYTHING MY OWN

My son refuses any kind of help when he’s on a mission. He once carried a tub of cars and a box of blocks all by himself, all in one go, sweat and tears. It was painful to watch. He lost it a few times when I tried to help him. Horrible mum for helping. He lost it just by me asking a question if he wanted help. He’s too independent for his own good.

Well this is me too. When I have something in my mind I’d like to do, I do it on my own. I don’t ask for help even if it would be easier to accept help. I find myself telling my son, let mummy help you. When mummy doesn’t let anyone to help her. OMG, this is so deep. LOL.

I DON’T LIKE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO WHEN I AM ACTUALLY DOING IT

This is my threenager:

Bean walks to the fridge.

Your drink bottle is in the fridge,  I tell him. MELTDOWN.

Bean leaves the dining table and gets some wet wipes.

Please wipe your hands and face,  I tell him. MELTDOWN.

Bean goes to the bathroom after being on the potty.

Don’t forget to wash your hands!,  I tell him. MELTDOWN.

Now this is me:

Photo Source and Credits: Google Images, SNL Tumblr

“Watch out for the car, slow down now, use your left indicator, oh move lanes now, wait for this guy to turn, go go go now”, my husband instructs me while I drive. DEATH STARE WITH GLARING EYES. I am doing it!

I go clean the kitchen and  wipe the kitchen counter.

Are you going to wipe the dining table?, my husband asks. DEATH STARE WITH GLARING EYES. I am doing it!

Are we getting the point?

I DON’T LIKE TO BE WOKEN UP FROM MY SLEEP (ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT)

I don’t know how I survived when Bean was a newborn. I was probably just grumpy all the time?

But man if you find me or my son asleep on the couch, on the floor or on the table or under the bed, DONT.YOU.DARE Wake us so sudden.Or just don’t you dare wake up us. We will find our way.

Finally my favourite, MEMORY FAIL

Where is my dummy?  I can’t find my dummy. Oh here it is,  I found it in my hand mummy.

Where is my car mummy? Where is my red car? I can’t find my red car. Oh here it is on my lap.

Where is my car key? I can’t find my car key. Oh here it is in my bag.

Where are my eyeglasses? I can’t find my eyeglasses! Oh here it is on my head.

Where is my pen? I can’t find my pen. Oh here it is in my bag (again).

Where is the Apple remote? I can’t find the apple remote? Oh here it is in my jeans pocket.

I mean, I don’t actually know what’s the term for it so I just call it forever baby brain?

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The boy is a mini version of me for sure. He is half me. While this post is focused on things that may look like bad temperament, rest assure my son is not an a bad child. I just like to self-deprecate for humour purposes.

I am sure he’s got some of mine and his dad’s good traits. Here’s hoping.

Hope you have a wonderful Easter break!

I’ll speak to you next week!

 

xo

WCM

 

 

Living with a Threenager

 

Bean is not even 3 yet. Nope. Just like when he started the “Terrible Twos” stage, he wasn’t close to being 2. The child is in a hurry. We (the parents), on the other hand, are in this bumpy journey with no seatbelts on.

I read a funny article last night. It’s called Secret Diary of a Threenager. If it wasn’t for the pronouns used, I would have assumed Bean wrote it. If he can actually type his thoughts. Totes.

I didn’t even think of the word Threenager until last night. I thought we were just having a bad 2 weeks. And now it all make sense.

NO is the usual response to everything

“What do you want for breakfast?”, NO!

And getting dressed? Goodluck! It’s like skinning a live chicken with 8 legs. I swear it’s almost like that movie where the child was possessed and walking backwards down the stairs… yeah that movie.

Breakfast is no longer a meal that he likes to partake in

I mean who needs breakfast these days? TODDLERS! Everyone really. Think of having a hungry toddler in the morning. yeah, how beautiful of a morning is that.

No food is ever edible anymore. Even the usual faves are now just “yucky”.

Cutlery, Cups and Plates

Don’t you dare give him the wrong colour of everything. Dont.you.dare.

The Delays

Houston we have a problem and Bean would still say “Two minutes”. He is in the delaying tactics. He would find means to delay going to bed, bath, in the car, out of the car.. You name it, there is a way to delay.

Naps

We are in this in-between stage of no-longer-needing-a-nap and he-is-too-tired-he- REALLY-needs-a-nap.

If we skip a nap for the day, then we will have to deal with how GRUMPY he is. Nothing will tickle his fancy to get through that “I’m really tired but I don’t want to nap”. Not even a movie! The good part about committing to no naps is bedtime is much more on schedule.

If we manage to get him to take a nap (no matter how short), he will NOT sleep around his bedtime. The other night, we were up until 10pm!

The “I am hungry but I don’t like to eat anything”

This is us.

My tummy is hurting mummy. I am hungry mummy.

You go present the child with some food and he declares that he doesn’t like it. Nothing in you pantry is good enough. nothing. And according to the child, the only thing that will get him through hunger is the ONLY thing you don’t have in your pantry. Like say, Popcorn, which we don’t buy all the time, but because he found that one thing that we don’t have, then yup, it’s totes legit, he wants it.

Food Presentation

Suddenly, I am now being judged by my almost three year old on my presentation. It feels like My Kitchen Rules in my dinner table all the time.

No crust, perfect triangles, oh there’s a hair! (his hair), the rice touched the meat, where is the sauce?!, I don’t like sauce, the carrot look ugly, the rice is too white.

I mean.

The WHYs

I don’t mind this because he stops at a point when he is satisfied with my answer. I haven’t used the line “because I said so” yet but it doesn’t mean I won’t. Right now I am still all a-matter-of-fact.

I don’t like the bit where you are still mid sentence answering the first WHY and he’s onto the next WHY. 

Here’s a favourite (not), THE MELTDOWN

Usually for no real reason.

I asked, “would you like the TV on while mummy makes breakfast?”. MELTDOWN. 

I don’t understand.

I bought new shoes for him. MELTDOWN.

When it’s the same exact shoes as he has now only in a bigger size.

I gave him room temperature water. MELTDOWN.

I replaced it with cold water. MELTDOWN.

Note that these meltdowns are usually accompanied by fake cries too.

What do I do? I used to say “What’s wrong now?” but I’ve changed it to “When you’re ready for it, come tell me” and I move on to the next thing that will make the child lose his shit. Because you know, that’s my main purpose in life, to annoy my child.

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This is a very trying time. Our Daily routine is in complete shock, not that I have a strict routine anyway but still it’s in shock.

The cuddles after the meltdowns are amazing. It would have been sweeter if we didn’t have to deal with fake cries though.

But I guess, this too shall pass.

I swear, I just figured him out in his Terrible Twos yesterday and now we’re here, Threenager. The struggles are real.

In saying that, I love that he’s normal. LOL.

I do have a lot of things to love about this stage though. I love that my conversations with him is almost like an adult one. We talk about the weather. We talk about our days and what we have done. We talk about dreams. We talk about holidays. We sure do talk about Poop and all its shapes and sizes.

I love how caring he’s become (when he’s in the mood). He would ask if I wanted a drink before dinner or if he can pass me the rice. He would hand me my towel after I shower at night. He would put covers on me before we read books in his bed. He asks me if I am happy or if I am sad. He will hug me when I am sad. He kisses me in the morning and before bed. He kisses me whenever. He will tell me he miss me. He saves me a piece of chocolate and pappadums all the time. I mean the child is very sweet. 

So I guess it all balances out.

To all mummies and daddies of Threenagers, WE GOT THIS! We’re in this together!

To all mummies and daddies of younger toddlers/babies, This is your future.

It’s all fun and tears, but it’s worth it.

Just write a blog like this and then when your children have their own kids, make them read it. LOL.

Tell me if you’re also living with a Threenager.

I know I am not alone.

Hope you had a beautiful weekend!

xo

WCM

 

 

The indecisive toddler

I thought I was indecisive until I met my toddler. I don’t always know what to have for dinner or what shoes to wear.

It’s fine if it’s just about not having a decision at that very minute. The sad part is, it usually comes with a tantrum (or tantrums if you’re lucky) because God forbid you don’t know what they really (really) want nor have the slightest clue of what they need based on the kind of whining sound they produce, that child is going to do whatever it takes to let you (I mean “us” the parents) know how wrong we are for not knowing. Because we should know, it’s in the Toddler for Dummies book, these toddlers write it as you go, it’s quite impressive (not).

Over the last few months, my defiant trying-to-be-too-independent toddler, has developed his language so beautifully. He can pretty much have a whinge in full sentences now as oppose to that sound all toddlers make when they are not happy with something/someone. You know, the sound! There’s a sound for everything too in case you’re not tuned in yet or your toddler is just learning the falsettos.

So I’ve written down some of the most recent Indecisive antics my Bean has graced me with: (Enjoy!)

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“I don’t want to watch the Wiggles mummy!” as he rolls (more like wriggles) off the couch on to the floor. I turned off the TV as implied. Then BAM! “I was watching it!!!!!!!” and the said child committed himself to a tantrum.

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I asked Bean what he wanted for breakfast. He replied with “Cereal please mummy”. This is already a trap (I know), the lack of cereal information trap and I dared cross it. I poured him some Milo Cereal, you know, Dealers choice. Then BAM! “I don’t like cereal!!!!!, I want toast”, the said child committed himself to a tantrum.

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“Mummy, let’s do something”, so I said, “Do you want to make some cupcakes?” and he replied, “YESS Please mummy, I love making cupcakes with you” (aww, sweet). So we did. When the cupcakes were ready, I placed a freshly frosted cupcake in front of him and then BAM! “I don’t like cupcakes, I want brownies!!”. We lined them cupcake tins together. He saw cupcakes rising. We frosted the said cupcakes too.

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Beach or Park? He said beach! So Daddy and I packed our stuff and supplies, more like the entire house into a giant beach bag. We get to the beach and BAM! “I don’t want to go to the beach”.

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“Mummy, I want to call grandma please. I want to talk to her face”. He meant FaceTime. We dialed and grandma picks up and then BAM! “I don’t want to talk to grandma!”

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“Bean! I’ve got your shirts on your bed. You have 2, please choose which one you’d like to wear.” The little man checked the bed, decided that neither of the shirts is to be his OOTD so he opened his closet and chose what he’d like to wear. Fair enough. The boy knows what he wants. Kudos. I put the shirt of choice on him. We then went to brush our teeth and he saw his reflection then his shirt then BAM! “I don’t want this shirt!”

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“I love strawberries”, a confession (or perhaps a lie) uttered to the lady at Coles. We got home and I cut the said strawberries, presented it to my toddler and BAM!! “I don’t like strawberries”.

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“Daddy, let’s play hide-and-seek”. Daddy starts counting. Bean starts hiding. Daddy finds him and then BAM! “I don’t want to play hide-and-seek”. 

The End.

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These shenanigans were only this weekend. Two full days of I-want-this then I-don’t-want-this + tantrum. And whenever the tantrum comes about, I tend to break a laugh or two but other times, I lose it. I am human ok. My patience is not bottomless.

80% of the time, after the complaint has been made in a form of a tantrum, he comes around and commit to his initial decision anyway. Go figure.

One day, I’ll figure this toddler thing like a pro and then he’ll be pre-adolescent and I have to figure him out all over again.

I’m pretty sure I am not alone when I say that toddlers have commitment issues. LOL.

It’s hilarious most of the times really.

This post is inspired by Spazmodious of The K J Chronilces. If you haven’t yet, go follow him, he’s HILARIOUS!

Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

xo

WCM