We are having another BOY! insert all blue love hearts possible.
We are over the moon excited as you can imagine and I can’t wait to meet this little guy! insert more blue love hearts emoticons here.
I didn’t have a strong preference nor gut feeling, although, I admit I was getting excited to the idea of a baby girl.
Let’s get a little bit serious, shall we? Story time!
At the beginning of the pregnancy, I had mixed emotions on my geneder preference, even if in reality, I would accept a boy or girl.
Having a girl would mean we have one of each. Question is, will they be friends? Will they get along?
Then I get this pang of sadness, I wish I could ask my mum how I was as a baby, as a toddler, as school age girl, as a teenager. Alas, my questions will remain unanswered.
I was a goody-two-shoes kind of teen. I aimed to please my parents and didn’t do anything to make them upset. I grew up too quickly and worried about life too early. I aimed to please my mum the most and did everything in my power to make her proud, happy and content. To me, she was my light and everything. I did everything for her, even agreed to moved to a different country to make sure my entire family has got a chance of a better life. All I wanted was for her was to be happy. Always. But what if my potential daughter hates me and be the complete opposite of me?
Then I look at my relationship with my brother. It’s not perfect but we’re there for each other. We will do anything for each other no matter what. But what if I have a boy and girl and they hate each other and don’t ever want to help each other?
Then I started imagining having 2 boys and the same worries hit me. What if they don’t like each other? hate each other?
And then, reality hits, no matter what I am having, I can’t predict the relationship they are going to have. I can only teach them how to love, tolerate and respect each other.
End of Story time.
I have so many worries just like any parent but I know that we can only guide and teach our children to be in the path we want them to be, have the values we want them to have, create the life we imagined them to live just as much and the rest is all on them. You can’t control everything.
I do have a list of things that I’d like to tackle differently than how my parents did and hope for the best. We all have the ideas of how to be a better parent than our own and pretty sure our children will have the same ideas when it’s their turn. The key word is “better”, means it’s a win win. It’s a positive change.
Some people say we are our parents but in all honesty, I don’t think we are. We are our own kind of parents. We just know their habits that we grew up with and subconsciously finding ourselves following them. Most are good and some are bad. Changing the bad habits means you care so much that you didn’t want to commit the same “mistakes” as your parents did. Mistakes and how we define them are subjective. Some are clear mistakes, ie, abuse, negligence, etc. And some are “choices” that our parents made that were deemed right for the family at that time. We don’t know how hard parenting is when we’re young. Not me at least.
Parenting in general is really hard. Making sure you’re on the same page as your partner is even harder. It’s no easy feat. And no one is perfect. We can only aim to be good if not better.
End of serious talk.
What a serious post! LOL
So..a penis is growing inside me. For those SATC fans, you know who said this.
I am having a boy and I remain the Queen of my household!
Hope you’re having a lovely Friday! xx