Bean is not even 3 yet. Nope. Just like when he started the “Terrible Twos” stage, he wasn’t close to being 2. The child is in a hurry. We (the parents), on the other hand, are in this bumpy journey with no seatbelts on.
I read a funny article last night. It’s called Secret Diary of a Threenager. If it wasn’t for the pronouns used, I would have assumed Bean wrote it. If he can actually type his thoughts. Totes.
I didn’t even think of the word Threenager until last night. I thought we were just having a bad 2 weeks. And now it all make sense.
NO is the usual response to everything
“What do you want for breakfast?”, NO!
And getting dressed? Goodluck! It’s like skinning a live chicken with 8 legs. I swear it’s almost like that movie where the child was possessed and walking backwards down the stairs… yeah that movie.
Breakfast is no longer a meal that he likes to partake in
I mean who needs breakfast these days? TODDLERS! Everyone really. Think of having a hungry toddler in the morning. yeah, how beautiful of a morning is that.
No food is ever edible anymore. Even the usual faves are now just “yucky”.
Cutlery, Cups and Plates
Don’t you dare give him the wrong colour of everything. Dont.you.dare.
Houston we have a problem and Bean would still say “Two minutes”. He is in the delaying tactics. He would find means to delay going to bed, bath, in the car, out of the car.. You name it, there is a way to delay.
We are in this in-between stage of no-longer-needing-a-nap and he-is-too-tired-he- REALLY-needs-a-nap.
If we skip a nap for the day, then we will have to deal with how GRUMPY he is. Nothing will tickle his fancy to get through that “I’m really tired but I don’t want to nap”. Not even a movie! The good part about committing to no naps is bedtime is much more on schedule.
If we manage to get him to take a nap (no matter how short), he will NOT sleep around his bedtime. The other night, we were up until 10pm!
The “I am hungry but I don’t like to eat anything”
This is us.
My tummy is hurting mummy. I am hungry mummy.
You go present the child with some food and he declares that he doesn’t like it. Nothing in you pantry is good enough. nothing. And according to the child, the only thing that will get him through hunger is the ONLY thing you don’t have in your pantry. Like say, Popcorn, which we don’t buy all the time, but because he found that one thing that we don’t have, then yup, it’s totes legit, he wants it.
Suddenly, I am now being judged by my almost three year old on my presentation. It feels like My Kitchen Rules in my dinner table all the time.
No crust, perfect triangles, oh there’s a hair! (his hair), the rice touched the meat, where is the sauce?!, I don’t like sauce, the carrot look ugly, the rice is too white.
I don’t mind this because he stops at a point when he is satisfied with my answer. I haven’t used the line “because I said so” yet but it doesn’t mean I won’t. Right now I am still all a-matter-of-fact.
I don’t like the bit where you are still mid sentence answering the first WHY and he’s onto the next WHY.
Here’s a favourite (not), THE MELTDOWN
Usually for no real reason.
I asked, “would you like the TV on while mummy makes breakfast?”. MELTDOWN.
I don’t understand.
I bought new shoes for him. MELTDOWN.
When it’s the same exact shoes as he has now only in a bigger size.
I gave him room temperature water. MELTDOWN.
I replaced it with cold water. MELTDOWN.
Note that these meltdowns are usually accompanied by fake cries too.
What do I do? I used to say “What’s wrong now?” but I’ve changed it to “When you’re ready for it, come tell me” and I move on to the next thing that will make the child lose his shit. Because you know, that’s my main purpose in life, to annoy my child.
This is a very trying time. Our Daily routine is in complete shock, not that I have a strict routine anyway but still it’s in shock.
The cuddles after the meltdowns are amazing. It would have been sweeter if we didn’t have to deal with fake cries though.
But I guess, this too shall pass.
I swear, I just figured him out in his Terrible Twos yesterday and now we’re here, Threenager. The struggles are real.
In saying that, I love that he’s normal. LOL.
I do have a lot of things to love about this stage though. I love that my conversations with him is almost like an adult one. We talk about the weather. We talk about our days and what we have done. We talk about dreams. We talk about holidays. We sure do talk about Poop and all its shapes and sizes.
I love how caring he’s become (when he’s in the mood). He would ask if I wanted a drink before dinner or if he can pass me the rice. He would hand me my towel after I shower at night. He would put covers on me before we read books in his bed. He asks me if I am happy or if I am sad. He will hug me when I am sad. He kisses me in the morning and before bed. He kisses me whenever. He will tell me he miss me. He saves me a piece of chocolate and pappadums all the time. I mean the child is very sweet.
So I guess it all balances out.
To all mummies and daddies of Threenagers, WE GOT THIS! We’re in this together!
To all mummies and daddies of younger toddlers/babies, This is your future.
It’s all fun and tears, but it’s worth it.
Just write a blog like this and then when your children have their own kids, make them read it. LOL.
Tell me if you’re also living with a Threenager.
I know I am not alone.
Hope you had a beautiful weekend!