Top 10 things I did as new mother that I laugh about now

TakingMyNewbornHome_Workingmummychronicles
Photo Source: Google

 

I attended a Potty Training workshop last night, not for me, for my son. I pretty much nailed my own potty training thank you very much. My son, not so much.

The workshop lady was rude reminded us about the time when we first took our new born (or newborns) home.

Did we know what we’re doing? NO.

Did we figure it out? Eventually

Did we shed a tear or two over something so small? YES

Being a new parent with a new baby you haven’t met before it daunting. I know I am not alone in this, we all did something back then that we can honestly laugh about it now.

Let’s start

ONE:

The first time I changed Bean’s onesie (at the hospital), he cried. I called the nurse straight-away and said in full panic, “I was just trying to change his clothes and then he cried so loud!”. Yup. He’s a newborn, of course he’ll cry.

TWO:

I decided to put half a scoop of formula in a 25ml water because Bean may only need half of his 50ml top up. Yup. He got constipated instead. Never mess with formula measurement y’all. Make 50ml and feed him half of it. 

THREE:

I found Bean looking too red and feeling too warm, he was only 4 weeks old. I rang HealthDirect because I thought he’s having convulsions. Nope. He’s overheating from 10 layers of clothes. Ok 3 layers.

FOUR:

While changing his nappy after our 3am feed, I decided to leave ALL lights off so I don’t wake him up. He sharted at my faceMy fault, I had to put my face too close.

FIVE:

The first time Bean slept through the night (7pm to 7am), I was up every 3 hours pacing around his bassinet. Is he OK? Does he need to eat? Should he eat? Why is he sleeping?

SIX:

First time I clipped his nails, I clipped some of his skin too and he started bleeding. I cried for hours. I broke my baby. 

SEVEN:

The second time he slept through the night, I was still up every 3 hours pacing around his bassinet. Yup. You think I’d learn?

EIGHT:

The first time he got constipated (from that formula incident), I was coaching him (a 5 day old baby), as if he’s a woman in labour. Push baby push. It’s ok, breathe breathe, now push baby push.

NINE:

The first vomit he’s ever done (just a few hours old) came out of his mouth and nose while asleep next to me in the hospital. I pretty much called CODE BLUE to the entire nursing team. Dramatic.

TEN: (my favourite)

When Bean was only a few days old, we rushed him to Emergency Department because he was sleeping for 4 hours straight. Yup. He was fine. We are absolutely out of our minds thinking is he dying? Why is he sleeping this long?

I guess it comes with the parenting package, the worry and panic. The first 4 weeks are the most nerve wracking but it did get better and now he’s 3!

Do you have any of these moments? I am sure you do too!

It’s hump day!

xo

WCM

 

ps. yes i love Kirsten Wiig. If my life is made to a movie, I want her to play me. Ignore the fact that I am asian.

Parenting Style

 

ParetingStyle_WorkingMummyChronicles
Photo Source: Buzzfeed and the Internet. LOL

I don’t know when, but I was asked before about my Parenting Style.

Heeeeeyy. I haven’t seen you here before. Is that your son? OMG,  he’s sooooooooo cute! Are you Asian? OMG, that’s sooo adorable. I love Asian!. Sooooooooooo, what is your parenting style? 

Possibly not a very accurate depiction of what really happened, but you get the picture. A well-meaning (I hope!) stranger asking me a personal question, at a park. As you do.

I find it too personal to be asking about someone’s parenting style. It’s like being asked if I am a folder or scruncher.

Was it a trick question? Who’s listening? Who wants to know?

I answered the well-meaning lady , “A little bit of everything really”. Which is possibly true.

But what the heck? Who answers like that? WHY DID I EVEN ANSWER IT? To be polite. I was raised to be polite. I was probably feeling some form of pressure to break the awkward silence too  and the fear of being kicked out of the park? 

She wasn’t too impressed with my answer. I am not sure because my allegiance to one parenting style is not established? Does she know something I don’t about my parenting style? Maybe because I didn’t ask her back, What about you? What’s your parenting style. 

Maybe I should have just answered, “I refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself”

I don’t want to be in a conversation about how parenting should really be, in a public place, with complete strangers, so I chose World Peace. 

Playback my answer: “A little bit of everything really”

Arrggghhh.. CRINGE.

If I were to answer it today, I would say…….

Not that it’s your business, but I follow a very PRAGMATIC approach to parenting. I do what works best for my family.

Yes, I breastfed my child.

Yes, I gave him formula too.

Yes, I did controlled crying when I needed him to understand boundaries.

Yes, I cuddle him a lot. ( I mean A LOT)

Yes, I do time-outs. 

Yes, I praise him a lot.

Yes, I shout at my kid too (I mean, who doesn’t? Introduce me to someone who has not yelled at her/his kid ever, I want to know the secret to perfection too).

Yes, I let my child sleep in his room on his own

Yes, I co-sleep too.

Yes, I give him milk in the middle of the night.

Yes, I nag him about asking for milk in the middle of the night.

Yes, I laugh at my kid

 

Yes, I display authority (I am the boss most of the time)

Yes, I let him win too. What would you like for snack, banana or apple? This kind of winning.

Yes, I question myself, for the decisions I make.

I mean, parenting is personal. It’s customised to the family’s needs, values, beliefs, etc. I don’t think it’s a topic to discuss with strangers. I personally think there is no right or wrong way. It’s only ” what’s right for your family” way.

The shaming that happens when one parent disagrees with another parent’s parenting style is not something I’d like to get involved with. No one should really shame anyone about their parenting styles. It’s a waste of bloody time.

The Judging bit is inevitable. We’re human. We judge when we don’t understand. I am guilty of this! Once you’re in that same situation, the one you judged, I am pretty sure you will feel like a dick bad for judging at all. I was the perfect parent of a toddler until I had a toddler myself.

Why not discuss each other’s achievements and our little parenting successes instead of shaming and judging other parents’ parenting style.

Why not have an open mind to people’s individual choices and praise each other for job well done.

Why don’t we encourage each other to be happy for our choices?

Discussions with other parents on how you parent should be a healthy discussion and not a debate. No flags of “I am better than you” should be waved. Don’t be a dick.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Sure. But it doesn’t mean you need to force it to be the only case of truth (or norm).

We all have one goal, and that is to raise decent human being who will (hopefully) change the world for the better.

Other people’s choices on how they parent their child is theirs to own, and not yours to worry about unless it has a direct effect to your child’s well-being. Save your worries on “real things to be worried about”.

We should be building a community together. We should helping out each other.We should be encouraging each other.

PS, I am a folder! LOL

Hope you the start of the week has been good for you!

xo

WCM

 

 

 

 

Living with a Threenager

 

Threenager_WorkingMummyChronicles

Bean is not even 3 yet. Nope. Just like when he started the “Terrible Twos” stage, he wasn’t close to being 2. The child is in a hurry. We (the parents), on the other hand, are in this bumpy journey with no seatbelts on.

I read a funny article last night. It’s called Secret Diary of a Threenager. If it wasn’t for the pronouns used, I would have assumed Bean wrote it. If he can actually type his thoughts. Totes.

I didn’t even think of the word Threenager until last night. I thought we were just having a bad 2 weeks. And now it all make sense.

NO is the usual response to everything

“What do you want for breakfast?”, NO!

And getting dressed? Goodluck! It’s like skinning a live chicken with 8 legs. I swear it’s almost like that movie where the child was possessed and walking backwards down the stairs… yeah that movie.

Breakfast is no longer a meal that he likes to partake in

I mean who needs breakfast these days? TODDLERS! Everyone really. Think of having a hungry toddler in the morning. yeah, how beautiful of a morning is that.

No food is ever edible anymore. Even the usual faves are now just “yucky”.

Cutlery, Cups and Plates

Don’t you dare give him the wrong colour of everything. Dont.you.dare.

The Delays

Houston we have a problem and Bean would still say “Two minutes”. He is in the delaying tactics. He would find means to delay going to bed, bath, in the car, out of the car.. You name it, there is a way to delay.

Naps

We are in this in-between stage of no-longer-needing-a-nap and he-is-too-tired-he- REALLY-needs-a-nap.

If we skip a nap for the day, then we will have to deal with how GRUMPY he is. Nothing will tickle his fancy to get through that “I’m really tired but I don’t want to nap”. Not even a movie! The good part about committing to no naps is bedtime is much more on schedule.

If we manage to get him to take a nap (no matter how short), he will NOT sleep around his bedtime. The other night, we were up until 10pm!

The “I am hungry but I don’t like to eat anything”

This is us.

My tummy is hurting mummy. I am hungry mummy.

You go present the child with some food and he declares that he doesn’t like it. Nothing in you pantry is good enough. nothing. And according to the child, the only thing that will get him through hunger is the ONLY thing you don’t have in your pantry. Like say, Popcorn, which we don’t buy all the time, but because he found that one thing that we don’t have, then yup, it’s totes legit, he wants it.

Food Presentation

Suddenly, I am now being judged by my almost three year old on my presentation. It feels like My Kitchen Rules in my dinner table all the time.

No crust, perfect triangles, oh there’s a hair! (his hair), the rice touched the meat, where is the sauce?!, I don’t like sauce, the carrot look ugly, the rice is too white.

I mean.

The WHYs

I don’t mind this because he stops at a point when he is satisfied with my answer. I haven’t used the line “because I said so” yet but it doesn’t mean I won’t. Right now I am still all a-matter-of-fact.

I don’t like the bit where you are still mid sentence answering the first WHY and he’s onto the next WHY. 

Here’s a favourite (not), THE MELTDOWN

Usually for no real reason.

I asked, “would you like the TV on while mummy makes breakfast?”. MELTDOWN. 

I don’t understand.

I bought new shoes for him. MELTDOWN.

When it’s the same exact shoes as he has now only in a bigger size.

I gave him room temperature water. MELTDOWN.

I replaced it with cold water. MELTDOWN.

Note that these meltdowns are usually accompanied by fake cries too.

What do I do? I used to say “What’s wrong now?” but I’ve changed it to “When you’re ready for it, come tell me” and I move on to the next thing that will make the child lose his shit. Because you know, that’s my main purpose in life, to annoy my child.

—-

This is a very trying time. Our Daily routine is in complete shock, not that I have a strict routine anyway but still it’s in shock.

The cuddles after the meltdowns are amazing. It would have been sweeter if we didn’t have to deal with fake cries though.

But I guess, this too shall pass.

I swear, I just figured him out in his Terrible Twos yesterday and now we’re here, Threenager. The struggles are real.

In saying that, I love that he’s normal. LOL.

I do have a lot of things to love about this stage though. I love that my conversations with him is almost like an adult one. We talk about the weather. We talk about our days and what we have done. We talk about dreams. We talk about holidays. We sure do talk about Poop and all its shapes and sizes.

I love how caring he’s become (when he’s in the mood). He would ask if I wanted a drink before dinner or if he can pass me the rice. He would hand me my towel after I shower at night. He would put covers on me before we read books in his bed. He asks me if I am happy or if I am sad. He will hug me when I am sad. He kisses me in the morning and before bed. He kisses me whenever. He will tell me he miss me. He saves me a piece of chocolate and pappadums all the time. I mean the child is very sweet. 

So I guess it all balances out.

To all mummies and daddies of Threenagers, WE GOT THIS! We’re in this together!

To all mummies and daddies of younger toddlers/babies, This is your future.

It’s all fun and tears, but it’s worth it.

Just write a blog like this and then when your children have their own kids, make them read it. LOL.

Tell me if you’re also living with a Threenager.

I know I am not alone.

Hope you had a beautiful weekend!

xo

WCM

 

 

Working From Home

My manager is very family oriented. She understands. She’s a mother too. This is why I am happy being a full-time working mummy. My boss understands. I can be with my son when I have/need/want to without feeling bad or getting penalised for it.

Australia is a very family oriented country and so it’s been part of the working lifestyle for most employers to be more understanding when it comes to staff with children.

Another privilege I have with the role I am in, is the ability to work from home when my son is sick.

While it’s a wonderful privilege to have, I feel bad for my son because I maybe home, and yes I am with him, but I can’t really give all my attention to him while I am suppose to be on the clock and doing working.

There’s also the constant need to prove that you’re actually doing work while home. Sending emails, replying to emails, chatting with co-workers about work online and even returning phone calls. It can be stressful.

So where do you draw the line? You want to have the best of both of worlds, but can you really? I guess to some extent.

I guess, we as parents, should decide where to draw the line: when to actually just take the day off to care for your sick child and when to work from home to care for a sick child. We know our kids better and our priorities. There shouldn’t be guilt associated with either of the choice, unless of course the privilege is being misused.

Personally, I am grateful that I am able to do this.  I am grateful to be able to drop everything and be with my son if needed.

Working mummies shouldn’t be shamed as well for working from home. Everything that we do for our family are all decisions made out of love. Love for yourself. Love for your kids. Love for your partner.

At the end of the day, we do what we can for our family

 

have a great weekend!

 

xo WCM

 

Purging: Part 1

Scene

Mother: It’s good to purge.

Kate Ellis: Then what fuck is this? *points at the Christmas Elf she’s holding*

-scene from the movie Sisters (Tina Fey and Amy Poehler).

I decided to sell (some) my maternity clothes. I know, shocking.

Letting go of my maternity clothes is also my way of surrendering. Fuck it.  I’ve been trying to conceive for another baby for(exactly) a year now.  It has been a roller-coaster ride from the time we had our miscarriage last year to 12 months after of not being able to conceive again. Continue reading

The indecisive toddler

I thought I was indecisive until I met my toddler. I don’t always know what to have for dinner or what shoes to wear.

It’s fine if it’s just about not having a decision at that very minute. The sad part is, it usually comes with a tantrum (or tantrums if you’re lucky) because God forbid you don’t know what they really (really) want nor have the slightest clue of what they need based on the kind of whining sound they produce, that child is going to do whatever it takes to let you (I mean “us” the parents) know how wrong we are for not knowing. Because we should know, it’s in the Toddler for Dummies book, these toddlers write it as you go, it’s quite impressive (not).

Over the last few months, my defiant trying-to-be-too-independent toddler, has developed his language so beautifully. He can pretty much have a whinge in full sentences now as oppose to that sound all toddlers make when they are not happy with something/someone. You know, the sound! There’s a sound for everything too in case you’re not tuned in yet or your toddler is just learning the falsettos.

So I’ve written down some of the most recent Indecisive antics my Bean has graced me with: (Enjoy!)


“I don’t want to watch the Wiggles mummy!” as he rolls (more like wriggles) off the couch on to the floor. I turned off the TV as implied. Then BAM! “I was watching it!!!!!!!” and the said child committed himself to a tantrum.


I asked Bean what he wanted for breakfast. He replied with “Cereal please mummy”. This is already a trap (I know), the lack of cereal information trap and I dared cross it. I poured him some Milo Cereal, you know, Dealers choice. Then BAM! “I don’t like cereal!!!!!, I want toast”, the said child committed himself to a tantrum.


“Mummy, let’s do something”, so I said, “Do you want to make some cupcakes?” and he replied, “YESS Please mummy, I love making cupcakes with you” (aww, sweet). So we did. When the cupcakes were ready, I placed a freshly frosted cupcake in front of him and then BAM! “I don’t like cupcakes, I want brownies!!”. We lined them cupcake tins together. He saw cupcakes rising. We frosted the said cupcakes too.


Beach or Park? He said beach! So Daddy and I packed our stuff and supplies, more like the entire house into a giant beach bag. We get to the beach and BAM! “I don’t want to go to the beach”.


 

“Mummy, I want to call grandma please. I want to talk to her face”. He meant FaceTime. We dialed and grandma picks up and then BAM! “I don’t want to talk to grandma!”


 

“Bean! I’ve got your shirts on your bed. You have 2, please choose which one you’d like to wear.” The little man checked the bed, decided that neither of the shirts is to be his OOTD so he opened his closet and chose what he’d like to wear. Fair enough. The boy knows what he wants. Kudos. I put the shirt of choice on him. We then went to brush our teeth and he saw his reflection then his shirt then BAM! “I don’t want this shirt!”


 

“I love strawberries”, a confession (or perhaps a lie) uttered to the lady at Coles. We got home and I cut the said strawberries, presented it to my toddler and BAM!! “I don’t like strawberries”.


“Daddy, let’s play hide-and-seek”. Daddy starts counting. Bean starts hiding. Daddy finds him and then BAM! “I don’t want to play hide-and-seek”. 

HideAndSeek_WorkingMummyChronicles

The End.


 

 

These shenanigans were only this weekend. Two full days of I-want-this then I-don’t-want-this + tantrum. And whenever the tantrum comes about, I tend to break a laugh or two but other times, I lose it. I am human ok. My patience is not bottomless.

80% of the time, after the complaint has been made in a form of a tantrum, he comes around and commit to his initial decision anyway. Go figure.

One day, I’ll figure this toddler thing like a pro and then he’ll be pre-adolescent and I have to figure him out all over again.

I’m pretty sure I am not alone when I say that toddlers have commitment issues. LOL.

It’s hilarious most of the times really.

This post is inspired by Spazmodious of The K J Chronilces. If you haven’t yet, go follow him, he’s HILARIOUS!

Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

xo

WCM

Breaking our Routine

Here’s a reality, I spend a good amount of my day at work, and by home time, it’s a mad rush to do dinner then bath then bed. I am knackered!

Part of me is comfortable with the rush but another part of me wants something more, something new, something memorable, perhaps a  new family tradition.

So I broke our routine.

Mummy: let’s go watch the sunset tonight while we eat our dinner.

Daddy: Where?

Mummy: Beach!

Daddy: What do we eat?

Mummy: Fish N Chips

And that’s how our Friday Night Sunset Dinners (at the beach) was born.

Luckily, the city we live in is never short of a beautiful beach. We have plenty. Loads. 

Bean loves Friday Night Sunset Dinners! He gets to chase seagulls and play catch with the waves. He also get to have his favourite Hello Panda cookies while he say goodnight to the sun.

BreakingOurRoutine_WorkingMummyChronicles

We as a family, just needed to make an effort to commit to change our routine. Get out of our comfort zone and stop complaining we’re tired. Making the change happen is just a challenging as planning the activity but it’s a must for me. I had to forgo vacuuming a few times just so we could do something as a family. Fuck Cleaning!

I mean, since I started working full-time, my days off are extra special. The weekends are appreciated a lot more. I get so annoyed when friends cancel on me last minute on weekends because I could’ve planned something with the family. That’s how important my weekends have become and to have more family dates on weeknights, that’s me living the dream. The dream of finding the right work-life balance that works for our family.

The aim was to make beautiful memories for Bean. He’s always been our driving force to be better and sometimes all we have to do is break our routine.

It’s Easier said than done, I know. (but it’s possible!) I guess it’s easy for me now with one child. Who knows how it will be with another one, when it happens. I hope it happens.

That’s me and my rambles.

Wishing you all a lovely weekend!

xo

Working Mummy Chronicles