Yes, you read that right, I am pregnant! After a year of trying and failing, it finally happened.
People told me that once we stopped trying then it will happen. I hated that advice with a passion. I never once thought of myself being able to not try, I know too much about my body now and my ovulation, it’s just too hard to switch off, but that’s how this new journey started. We stopped trying.
We decided to stop trying (aka for me to stop obsessing about everything) until we see a Fertility Specialist. It’s been a year and it was time to see a specialist. I got all my paperworks, first appointment booked and a doctor’s referral. I got it all sorted and we were just waiting for the day.
I cancelled the appointment.
Five days before the appointment, I had a terrible gas pain. For the first time I didn’t associate it as pregnancy symptom, instead, I put it down as something I ate like a normal person would. The day carried on as normal,
chasing taming a toddler, cooking, cleaning, complaining about gas pain, toddler in timeout, laundry. It was a public holiday, long weekend.
The following day was different, I still had the gas pain and I can’t seem to relieve myself with all the remedies I can think of to release the bad gas. So I decided to pee on a cheapie stick at 4am in the morning, because why not. If I can’t get rid of the bad gas, I’ll just pee on the stick.
3 minutes passed.
Picture me in the toilet holding up the cheapie pregnancy test, trying to find the best possible light/angle because I swear I can see a second line. I swear!
5 minutes passed.
Picture me in the toilet now wearing my glasses, holding up the cheapie pregnancy test, bending backward and forward, still looking for the best possible angle, because I really see a very faint second line.
Nah, it can’t be. It’s 4am and I am possibly sleep walking.
I threw the cheapie stick in the bin.
I pulled it out.
I wrapped it in toilet paper then threw it in the bin.
I pulled it out again and took it with me to bed, clutching it in my hand.
I then put it in my bedside drawer.
I went back to sleep.
Seven O’clock alarm woke up and he is screaming Mummy. I got up and first thing I checked was my drawer. Did it really happened?
I carefully opened the drawer, cautious that something will just jump at me. I saw the tissue paper, shook my head in disbelief, I opened it, blinked a few times to adjust my eyes, and there I see the second line.
And so I held my pee for 2 hours
I did another cheapie pregnancy test, in secret. The husband mustn’t know.
3 minutes passed.
I see a much darker second line.
Wait, don’t celebrate yet. Don’t even jump. What should I do?
I was confused. I was happy and scared at the same time. I was only 10DPO (days past ovulation). Why am I getting a positive test this early?
I kept the secret for one more day because I was still convinced it’s a false positive.
Sunday, I woke up at 6am with a mission.
I took my only and last digital pregnancy test from my secret stash and headed to the other toilet. Away from the husband.
I didn’t want to mess it up so I peed in a cup.
Dipped the digital test in the cup.
5 LOOOOOOONG Minutes passed
The “hourglass” was still blinking. At that point, I was feeling deflated. It shouldn’t take that long, should it?
I started filming myself and the blinking hourglass. I thought I’d document what’s happening.
Pregnant. 1-2 weeks.
I didn’t know what to do. I was shaking.
I sat down the toilet (lid closed).
I stood up.
Paced a little.
I was still filming. Cut the filming. Looked at the test. Sat down the toilet again.
After an hour, I woke up the husband and presented him the most unhygienic yet most wonderful gift.
End of Story time.
It was a very confusing time. I wanted to be excited but I can’t. I was emotionally cautious. I didn’t want to get hurt again and have my hopes up.
It was not until I had my first scan and saw a pebble looking blob with a strong heartbeat at 6w3d, that I realised I am indeed pregnant.
My son is inlove with the belly and my husband and whole family are just as excited as I am.
I am now 14w and counting and I can’t wait until I meet this baby. I think this time he/she is ready to be part of our family.
If you read the whole post, thank you. High Five!
Hope it’s warm and sunny where you are 🙂