Mother: It’s good to purge.
Kate Ellis: Then what fuck is this? *points at the Christmas Elf she’s holding*
-scene from the movie Sisters (Tina Fey and Amy Poehler).
I decided to sell (some) my maternity clothes. I know, shocking.
Letting go of my maternity clothes is also my way of surrendering. Fuck it. I’ve been trying to conceive for another baby for(exactly) a year now. It has been a roller-coaster ride from the time we had our miscarriage last year to 12 months after of not being able to conceive again.
I’ve been semi-vocal about our secondary infertility struggles. I do share some of it to some extent. I don’t always do but when something triggers me or someone asks me then I talk about it.
The stigma is, not everyone can relate to the struggle. Most of the time, people don’t know what to say to you or how to help you,so it comes across as They Don’t Care. I don’t think that’s the case at all. Personally, I find that some of my friends and family are more
thoughtful tactful than others. They think before they speak. I can’t change nor control it. People’s reactions when I share my TTC struggles tells me more about them than it is about me. How I am treated, either by sympathy or empathy, shows more of the other person’s character than mine. Insensitivity from others still bothers here and there. Meh.
Anyway, let’s get back to Purging my maternity clothes. I thought I’d be a mess when I see those clothes again. I expected to be emotional, sure, but I didn’t expect to be nonchalant about it.
It is still my way of telling myself, Fuck it! They are only clothes!
If we really want to go down the path of seeking medical help, I am sure we will. Perhaps soon or maybe later. And when we finally get given the chance to be pregnant again, then I can go Shopping!
I have a more clothing items that I need to let go. The pre-baby ones, the size 6s and the what-were-you-thinking ones. I do have the odd is-this-even-a-dress?
Purging is good.